Journal Challenge Day 13: How Are You Similar To Your Parents?

  I have been researching this prompt like all week, so shout out to the tortured souls that endured my array of questions. Since my dad hasn't been a huge part of my life, or any part of my life, for that matter really, I had to resort to asking others about him. I feel like this is going to be a long post.

In this picture going left to right is: my sister Paige, my father Paul, my brother Daniel, and me. This picture was taken Christmas of 2013.

In this picture is: me, my momma, and Paige. This was taken on Sunday, Mother's day 2020.

   I added those pictures so you can have a reference for looks, I've always been told I look more like a Cousins, but act like a Gilbank. I think that's pretty accurate. My hair is for sure from my father's side, it's dark and thin but there's a whole lot of it. My mom had hair so blonde it was almost white and it was pin straight before she had kids, then it went curly. My hair was straight when I was younger but its got some curl to it now, I think maybe I got that aspect from her, just without the children. My skin is Casper white and I'm not sure if that's the British (Paul) or Irish (Mom) in me, but no one else in my family is white like I am. I have my father's nose for sure and I actually really don't like it, it looks okay from the front, but sideways it's got a bump in it that drives me nuts. My momma gave me her lips, her ears, her cheekbones, and her eyes. The eyes are interesting though because I've got a really dark blue ring around my iris and my mom doesn't, she has some light hazelly color toward the inside of her irises whereas mine are just straight blue. I don't know if my dad's eyes are like that but it would be interesting to find out. My voice is my mothers for sure, I get mistaken for her all the time on the phone.

    I think I get my physique from Paul's side as well, I have broad shoulders and wide hips and my momma as a much softer physique. My mom says I stand like he does and that I have his demeanor. She also says we have similar facial expressions, she didn't go into detail about it but I'm pretty curious as to what ones she refers to. I absolutely get my hands from her though, we have very slender, lengthy fingers, and our middle fingers are slightly crooked. Maybe that's because we use them so much... I get told that the women on my dad's side al look like the same person just at different stages of their life.

So the women closest to the right. I'm in the pink shirt, my grandma is in the red, my aunt (who I get compared to all the time) is right beside her in the black with the bangs, and then the younger girl beside me (gets referred to as my mini-me) that's my cousin, Ciara. I feel like the statement above is on point. 

   I got the best of both worlds when it came to them passing down their talents and hobbies. My dad is a brilliant writer, he even has a book published. He passed that ability down to me, and I've won numerous writing awards on my writing. That sounds super braggy but whatever. He also passed down musical talents, like singing, I love to sing and it's also super easy for me to pick up an instrument and just get the hang of it right away. He's been a DJ pretty much all his life, I'm not entirely sure if he plays any instruments, I think he plays the piano because he really wanted us to play the piano. I got my creativeness from my mom, like arts and craftsy things. She is incredible with the things she makes, she could probably make us all rich if she did it as a job. The only thing I'm not sure about is drawing, I love to draw and paint, and I'm actually pretty good at it. I've never seen any drawings from either of them, so where does that come from? My mom's mom used to draw and her doodles were really cute so maybe I got that from her. 

  My Gramma told me that my father is very book smart and that he always did well in school. I was always an honor roll student in school, and I actually find joy in studying. That's so nerdy. My Mom is also really smart but she's also common sense smart, through the lessons she teaches me or the way she just knows how to fix things or use things, and find just the easy solutions that no one else thinks of. Like the other day, for example, we were walking down the street and my flip flop broke, I was just going to go barefoot but my mom pulled out a handy dandy lighter and tried to melt it back together. Like I wouldn't have thought of that in a million years. That's brilliant. It didn't work and I ended up walking barefoot anyway, but still, go Mom! 

 I am like OCD clean, okay maybe I'm not that bad, but it's close. I hate messy things, I feel like I can't focus on anything when my room is a mess. I know for a fact that I get that from my Mom's side. I remember Paul's house was always kinda messy and cluttered but he also always had a home repair going on, so maybe it was just because of that. He used to have us help him do all that, I remodeled a bathroom with him, and created a home theatre, there were a few others things that we did too but I can't remember what they were. 

   Personality-wise, I'm definitely more like my mom, but I got my Fathers faults. Maybe that's because I have such a negative view of him so it's hard for me to see the good ones, but really I just don't think there are many good ones. I'm very family-oriented and just going by my mother and father, no extended family, that's definitely my Mom. I call her Momma Bear for a reason, she will fight for her cubs. She protective and loving, she's always been my number one fan and always will be until the day she dies. Even then I fully expect her to be sitting up in heaven, foam finger, and all cheering me on. My father, on the other hand, considering the fact that we haven't spoken in nearly five years and he wasn't present much in my life before that anyway, I'm going to go ahead and say family is not a priority for him. He has a good work ethic though and he's very productive, he has to be in charge and I'm very much like that, I like being the one that people answer to. It's not so much of a power trip for me as it is for him though, he thrives on that. His god complex is out of this world. I like to be in charge because I feel like I'm good at it, at being a team player, and being fair. Also that way I can ensure that everything is the way it should be and I don't have a rely on anyone else. I'm extremely independent, I get that from my mom. I like to get what I want though, and I can be pretty cunning with how I get it, that's from my father.

  I am very competitive and I get salty when I lose board games. I don't like being bad at things and if I feel like I am then I don't want to do it. That's my father in a nutshell. He is cheap, whereas I am frugal. He believes that he shouldn't have to pay for certain things or pay people back but everyone has to pay him. I'm more like if I friend needed money I would give them what I can, even if I don't have much. I don't see the point in buying brand new things when thrift stores are everywhere. Items like what I want already exist, it just might take a little longer to find them, and that's fine. He is very outdoorsy and adventurous and I think I get that wanderlust from him. When we would go see him in the summer we would be outside the whole time. Maybe it's just because that's the only time he had us and he wanted to cram as much in as possible, I don't know, but everything I remember was outside.

  My Momma is a hard worker, she always goes the extra mile and does the above and beyond. I'm like her that way. She is also stubborn, very, very stubborn but so am I. I think that's why we clash heads a lot of the time, we're too similar. I get my silliness from her though and my playfulness. I see it a lot actually, my mom has that cuteness to her that I've been told I have. We're very forgiving, we never forget, but we forgive. We always end up being the bigger person, because as short-tempered as we are, we really don't want to be mad. We give more chances than some people deserve but also when we're done, we're done, that's it. 

  Humor is split two ways, I'm extremely sarcastic and a total smart ass pretty much all the time, my Mom is the same way. I've been told that my father is very quick-witted and punny and I am also like that. I fricken love puns. 

   I tend to be very opinionated about things, but I know when to keep my mouth should and just keep it to myself, that's my Momma too. I'm also very accepting and open-minded, that's also my Momma. In high school, my friend group was just a bunch of people who didn't really fit in anywhere else, they weren't jocks, or drama nerds, or sciences geeks, just a bunch of misfits who all got along and occupied a hallway. From what I've heard about my mom when she was younger she was similar, she was accepting. Another way was similar is we don't judge, the only people we judge are those who judge. Let me explain that, if you want to go out and party, go do it. If you get an abortion then you get an abortion. If you're gay be gay, if you're any other race than Caucasian, that's cool. We don't give a shit as long as you're not an asshole. However, it's the people out there saying you can't get an abortion, you can't be gay, whites only, that bullshit. Fuck you. Who the hell do you think you are, you're not superior because of your color, your sexual preference, your anything. At the end of the day, all of our coffins are the same size. You got a little glimpse of my firecracker side there. That's from my momma. 

I'm their kid so it makes sense that I'm a little of both, it's interesting though seeing the similarities between my father and I. The nature vs nurture aspect of it. I was raised completely by my Mom and so it makes sense that I act like her. The strange little quirks and mannerisms I get from him have to be solely nature and that fascinating to me. 

This is a long-ass post and I'm tired so I think we're probably good here. Thanks for reading!

-Courtney :)