Journal Challenge Day 24: 2 Things To Improve On.
There's definitely more than two things that I need to improve on, but picking which ones I want to write about is a bit difficult.
I guess one would be to learn how to accept criticism. That's something I've always had a hard time doing, whether someone has good intentions or not. I suppose I just like being good at things and so when I get advice it feels like I'm not? I don't know. That doesn't make sense to me because I'm a firm believer in 'there's no such thing as perfect' and 'there's always room for improvement'. I might have to do some more soul searching to figure out where that stems from. Or maybe it's genetic, I was talking to my grandma not too long ago and she said that she also has difficulty with it. It would be interesting to figure out if it's more nature or nurture, or maybe it's both.
Another thing would be letting my walls down. As I've said in previous posts, I'm pretty independent and not just in the way of doing my own laundry or paying my bills but also in the way of I deal with my own shit. There are only a couple people that I really talk to and only one person who knows every single thing, but I only talk with them. I don't expect anyone to really help me (I know they would because they're incredible). I don't like to show vulnerability, I don't like to cry in front of people. I don't express my feelings. I'm very guarded. At least I can acknowledge and accept it though, that's a start, right? Living like this has probably protected me from a couple things but I think it's probably done more harm than good. You can't live your whole life and never let anyone get close to you, like really close. To know every part of you, even the parts that maybe you yourself don't like, and even all the parts that you have a hard time accepting. Sometimes I feel like if people really knew me, like I know me, that maybe they wouldn't like me as much? Which really shouldn't matter because why would I want someone around who doesn't like me anyway? I feel like a lot of people have that same worry though. What I do, is I become kind of a chameleon and just blend into the people around me, I'm still my own person and I have my own beliefs and nothing would change that, also I'm pretty open to interests and hobbies of others. I like to learn new things so what's the harm? There is none, but I also think it's important to find people who want to participate in yours as well and that's the part that I'm not good with. I don't let people close enough for them to really know what those things are.
I don't really have anything else to say, I could talk about other things to improve on because God knows there's more, but the prompt only says 2 and also I don't really feel like it. Thanks for reading.
-Courtney :)
I guess one would be to learn how to accept criticism. That's something I've always had a hard time doing, whether someone has good intentions or not. I suppose I just like being good at things and so when I get advice it feels like I'm not? I don't know. That doesn't make sense to me because I'm a firm believer in 'there's no such thing as perfect' and 'there's always room for improvement'. I might have to do some more soul searching to figure out where that stems from. Or maybe it's genetic, I was talking to my grandma not too long ago and she said that she also has difficulty with it. It would be interesting to figure out if it's more nature or nurture, or maybe it's both.
Another thing would be letting my walls down. As I've said in previous posts, I'm pretty independent and not just in the way of doing my own laundry or paying my bills but also in the way of I deal with my own shit. There are only a couple people that I really talk to and only one person who knows every single thing, but I only talk with them. I don't expect anyone to really help me (I know they would because they're incredible). I don't like to show vulnerability, I don't like to cry in front of people. I don't express my feelings. I'm very guarded. At least I can acknowledge and accept it though, that's a start, right? Living like this has probably protected me from a couple things but I think it's probably done more harm than good. You can't live your whole life and never let anyone get close to you, like really close. To know every part of you, even the parts that maybe you yourself don't like, and even all the parts that you have a hard time accepting. Sometimes I feel like if people really knew me, like I know me, that maybe they wouldn't like me as much? Which really shouldn't matter because why would I want someone around who doesn't like me anyway? I feel like a lot of people have that same worry though. What I do, is I become kind of a chameleon and just blend into the people around me, I'm still my own person and I have my own beliefs and nothing would change that, also I'm pretty open to interests and hobbies of others. I like to learn new things so what's the harm? There is none, but I also think it's important to find people who want to participate in yours as well and that's the part that I'm not good with. I don't let people close enough for them to really know what those things are.
I don't really have anything else to say, I could talk about other things to improve on because God knows there's more, but the prompt only says 2 and also I don't really feel like it. Thanks for reading.
-Courtney :)
